


Say "I Love You"

by EmberandShadow



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-25
Updated: 2016-11-21
Packaged: 2018-08-24 14:01:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8374834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmberandShadow/pseuds/EmberandShadow
Summary: Ed shows up late to the dinner Os asked him to, and he brings along with him more than just wine.





	1. Chapter 1

It's a simple thing. It's three little words. And yet Oswald can't seem to say them outloud to Ed. He's set up a date, prepared the table, and now sits practicing his lines to an empty room. His nerves are off the charts but he tries to keep himself calm. He fiddles with his silverware, runs the words over in his mind again and again until he's sure he can say them, until their meaning becomes so clear in his mind that he can't help but feel them in his heart. He thinks them over until they're comfortable, until they roll through his mind without a stutter. 

He checks his watch, and wonders what's keeping Ed so long. It should be a simple thing to get a bottle of wine, it should  be as simple as saying three simple words. But when he thinks about it like that Oswald knows how difficult something simple can be. He wonders if that's what's keeping Ed, if maybe he read into the way Oswald proposed the date, if he noticed the sound of his voice when he asked him here, and now Ed's just as nervous as he. Oswald would like to think so. 

He hears the door open in the defining silence and his heart starts pounding in his ears. He can feel it so hard against his chest that he's sure his heart will break out of his ribs and it's so loud in his ears he swears it drowns everything else out. He stands when Ed walks in, bottle of wine in hand and a smile on his face. 

"What took you so long?" Oswald asks, trying to keep the anger out of his voice, trying to keep the worry that maybe he stayed so long because he really didn't want to be there. 

"Sorry," Ed says, setting the bottle down and taking his seat so far away across the table, "I ran into a familiar face." 

Oswald sits as well, the pounding still so present in his world and Ed must be so oblivious to the storm raging on inside of him. "How so?" He asks. 

"There was a woman." Ed says, the smile so present on his features, so taunting in the way it's brought to his face not by Oswald, but by some _woman_ he'd met only minutes ago. 

"A woman." Oswald breathes. Because of course. Of course there was a _woman._ Of course Ed was distracted so long because some pretty lady had caught his attention. How _stupid_ could he have been? 

"In fact she looked exactly like Ms. Kringle." Ed says with glee in his voice and Oswald has to wonder how he doesn't feel the pain that's working toward his heart with every word Ed speaks, doesn't know how Ed doesn't see his heart bleeding out of him. 

"What are the chances." He shrugs, tries to play it cool, tries to hide the fact that it's becoming too hard for him to breathe, that his heart feels like it's being crushed. 

"She told me a riddle." He says, quieter, like it's too intimate a memory, too intimate an action to be said at full volume. As if he'd never meant to say the words out loud but they slipped from his lips anyway. 

"A riddle." Oswald is glad for small mercy of his words coming out so quiet that Ed probably didn't hear the pain laced through them. 

It's all he can do to keep from crying right then and there. 

"Excuse me, Ed, I fear I am not feeling well." Oswald stands, trying to sound pleasent and polite, trying to keep up appearances. 

"Of course." He hears Ed say but he doesn't stay long enough for anything else. 

Oswald leaves as fast as he can without it looking too odd. And he doesn't stop until he's reached the confines of his own room. Until he can lock the door, lean against it and let out the cry that had been building in his chest the whole time. He tries to stop the tears. Tries to tell himself that it isn't worth crying over, that he's just being stupid, that he should have _seen_ that Ed could never love him the way he loved Ed. But he still can't help but wonder, can't help but think back at everything that's happened these past couple weeks, and think that maybe, just _maybe_ they could have had a chance, that maybe Ed _did_ feel something. That they could have been together. 

If only he could have said "I love you" sooner. 


	2. Tear Stained

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive any spelling or grammar mistakes I did not have time to edit this <3

Do you think that it’s possible to die from crying? To drown in your own tears? To suffocate on your snot? To have the salt in the teardrops burn your eyes? Oswald believes he could. In this moment he thinks that- somehow- he could die from crying, from the pain in his heart threatening to tear him apart. He sits on the ground, his back pressed against his door. He can’t get Edwards words out of his head. The fact that Ed found someone, some _woman,_ that makes him happy taunts him. Of course it wouldn’t be him. Of course he could never make Ed happy.

He needs to get himself together. He needs to pick himself up and strengthen his heart. He hates how weak he is, how just simply hearing about Ed’s new love could bring him to such lows. He thinks about the razors in his bathroom. Thinks about his teenage years and how he’d always turn to the pain when he was feeling sad. And he wants to go to that now, wants to slash his wrists and end this pain, replace it with something physical so his heart can stop breaking.

He’s sure he’s being too loud. He’s sure Ed can hear him all the way down in the kitchen but he doesn’t care. He can’t control himself right now and those razors are calling to him and he wants to feel that cool metal against his skin again because he knows that it’ll calm the storm inside of him but he can’t seem to pick himself up off the floor so he sits in his mess of tears and hates himself even more.

He doesn’t hear Ed’s footsteps as they approach his room. He doesn’t know that Ed is just outside his door, wondering why Oswald is crying.

“Os?” Ed asks, knocking lightly, “Are you okay?”

Oswald wipes his tears, takes a deep breath, and tries to answer without sounding too broken, “I’m fine, Ed.”

Ed knows he’s lying. Ed can hear the heartbreak in his voice and it makes him sad. Something in him breaks at hearing how broken Oswald sounds. “Can I come in?”

“I’d rather you not.” Oswald says, but he knows that Ed will persist until he’s in the room so he starts wiping away his tears, starts taking deep breaths and tries to stop the tears from erupting from his eyes again.

“I want to help.” Ed says, trying the doorknob lightly. When he finds it unlocked he pushes it lightly, finding resistance.

Oswald leans with the door as it opens, holding himself up just so. Ed slips in through a small opening he manages to make and stops when he sees Oswald on the floor, his cheeks wet.

“What’s wrong?” Ed asks, sitting down next to him.

“Nothing.” Oswald says, guessing now would be the wrong time to admit he has feelings for the man sitting next to him.

“It’s not nothing if you’re crying on the floor of your bedroom.” Ed reasons.

“I can’t talk about it. Not with you.” Oswald says.

“Is this about what I brought up at dinner? You left pretty quickly and now you’re up here crying. I assume it’s connected?” _Damn._

Oswald can’t deny it now. Ed’s too smart for him to say anything contradictory. “Yes.”

“You’re upset that I’ve found someone?” Ed asks, clearly confused.

“Yes! Because that means that you’ll never love me.” The words just pour out of Oswald’s mouth and as soon as he’s said them he wishes he hadn’t because Ed has stilled beside him.

Oswald stands up quickly, walking over to his four post bed and gripping one of the posts for support, his back to Ed.

“You want me to love you?” Ed asks.

“Maybe.” Oswald says, his cheeks burning.

“Because you love me?” Ed asks, because this changes everything.

“Yes.” Oswald closes his eyes, wonders if Ed will walk away or yell at him or what.

But Ed’s mind is far from leaving. He stands, leaning against the door because Oswald _loves_ him. Ed’s adored him for ages, admired him for so long that he thought that’s all his feelings were toward the infamous Penguin. But now that he’s hearing the words, now that there’s this possibility that someone like _him_ could love him, he’s now questioning everything he’s ever felt. He hasn’t fully decided what to do, hasn’t officially made a decision. But he finds himself walking toward Oswald anyway.

He lightly turns Oswald around, presses him against the post Oswald was previously clutching, gently presses their bodies together, before softly kissing all the tears on Oswald’s face. Oswald freezes. He isn’t quite sure what’s happening and he looks up at Ed with confusion and his heart is pounding in his chest because this can’t be real.

“Oswald?” Ed asks, searching his eyes for a sign of _anything._ But he doesn’t speak. He just stares at Ed like he’s a dream.

So Ed presses his lips to Oswald’s and hopes that’ll break him out of his trance. And just as he’s about to pull away Oswald pulls him closer, presses them harder together. Ed holds him like he’s made of glass, like he’s not quite sure what to do but he knows that he doesn’t want to ruing any of this. And Oswald kisses Ed tentatively, like he’s a gift that could be takes away at any moment and he doesn’t want to get too attached.

The pull apart after a while, starting at each others eyes, breathing in each others air.

“Do you want to continue? Go further?” Ed asks, unsure of where to go next but wanting Oswald’s full agreement before he does anything else.

“What about this woman of yours?” Oswald asks.

“Forget her.”

And so they do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My one year anniversary of fic writing is this Friday! Send me prompts on Tumblr to celebrate!

**Author's Note:**

> I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT THIS LATEST EPISODE OMG SOMEONE HUG ME


End file.
